Love and Money — What You Should Know Before You Tie the Knot

Is money the “cause” of 50% of divorces? That “fact” – and variations of it – have been circulated by many for years, but try to track down an authoritative study substantiating it and you´ll come up empty-handed. That doesn´t mean, however, that it´s just an urban myth.

While it may be difficult to pin down a specific reason why marriages end (there are usually many different factors involved) plenty of marriage counselors and divorce attorneys will tell you that love and money are closely intertwined. Here are a few facts we do know about money and relationships:

Few things can put more stress on a relationship than financial woes. In a myFICO survey, one-third of respondents said that a lack of financial responsibility hurt their relationships more than not being faithful (22%), a lack of affection (21%), or a lack of a sense of humor (16%). Problems paying bills late was cited as often as problems with in-laws or relatives as the most stressful situations that put pressure on a relationship with a significant other.

A number of studies have looked at how family finances affect newlywed´s relationships. One study by Jean Oggins from the University of California found that money was the major source of disagreement for 244 newlywed couples in their first and third years of marriage. And starting a marriage with consumer debt (from either spouse) has a negative impact on newlywed levels of marital quality, according to a June 2005 survey involving 1,010 randomly sampled newlywed couples.

Can money or marriage buy happiness? Maybe. Americans in higher income households are much more likely than those in lower income households (particularly those earning less than $30,000 per year) to say they are very satisfied with their personal lives and are very happy according to a Gallup poll released at the end of 2007. Those earning $75,000 or more per year were significantly more satisfied with their personal lives (74% were very happy) than those with lower incomes, and they were happier, with 64% reporting they are very happy. The same poll found that married people were happier and more satisfied with their personal lives than those who are single.

Financial stability may keep you out of divorce court. It´s not guaranteed, but it does help. Another study published in 2007 evaluated 361 Midwestern couples and found that individuals with a high level of financial satisfaction were significantly less likely to have thought about divorce during the past three years.

Clearly, a good income and financial stability can help a marriage, and the opposite can hurt it. While some couples draw closer together during times of crisis, many won´t survive financial woes. Since marriages are most vulnerable in the first five years – when about 20% of divorces occur – going into a marriage with different views about money can spell disaster.

So before you tie the knot, have a heart-to-heart about money. Before you agree to stick together for better or for worse, make sure you´ve ironed out these differences. Or make sure you´ve budgeted for marriage counseling.

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