Opposites Attract

Money is one of the leading reasons why couples fight. When you are a “saver” and your sweetheart is a “spender,” the discrepancy can cause conflict in your relationship. Luckily, the solution can be as simple as understanding the situation, discussing your differences, and compromising on a solution.

“Spender” and “saver” aren’t accurate enough terms to describe the differences that couples may have over money issues. Look over the common categories below to see where you and your sweetheart stand on money topics. There are no right or wrong answers, so answer honestly:

Short term thinker
You would rather enjoy your money now than 20 years from now. You live for the moment and are prone to impulsive financial decisions. It’s only money.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

This is a key disagreement point because it concerns long term financial goals.

Cash-only
You are wary of credit and loans. You paid cash for your last car and wouldn’t consider financing an electronics purchase. You use credit cards sometimes but pay the balance in full each month.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

Its fine to be different here, but you’ll need to agree on how to pay for shared purchases.

Big spenders
You would rather splurge on expensive items than small everyday purchases. You may take a brownbag lunch to work but have no problem buying a $300 TV on a whim.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

Even though your purchase sizes are different, you may actually be spending the same amount each month.

Risk taker
You invest in risky stocks, buy and sell things often, and take advantage of 0% offers. You like to take chances with your money if there is a chance for a big return.

Conservative
You like to invest in safe stocks, keep purchases for a long time, and find credit cards with low long term rates. You would rather play it safe and be happy with your decision.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

Risk-taking often results in higher returns but it can also turn out badly.

Money outsider
You don’t enjoy thinking about money and you rarely check your credit reports. You feel that your time is better spent doing other things than worrying about money.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

Both types of people can agree on credit monitoring and online banking programs that make it easy to manage money.

Go-getter
You have big ambitions for being promoted or starting your own business. You want to be a success and are willing to sacrifice your free time. You dream of buying a huge house and living luxuriously.

Go with the flow
You value your work/life balance and aren’t too concerned about being promoted. It would be nice to have more money but you would rather have more free time to enjoy other things.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

When one person earns more or works harder than the other it can cause conflict in a relationship.

Small Saver
You save a little for the future but you don’t worry about it too much. Your savings accounts do just fine without your help and you have Social Security for retirement.

I am: _____________________________________
My partner is: ______________________________

You should both be able to agree on saving a shared minimum amount each month.

How did your financial philosophies match up? Any surprises? If you share some characteristics, that’s great! If you don’t match up on others, try to work out a compromise.

Don’t worry too much if you and your sweetheart are total opposites. Keeping most of your accounts separate may be the best plan in this situation. Create a shared savings account and bill payment account to which you each contribute an agreed amount each month. Along with these two shared accounts you can have your own savings accounts, investments, and credit cards. Separate accounts will give you more freedom to manage your money the way you like without impacting shared finances, thus avoiding potential tension.