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In a survey about how money matters in relationships, we asked both men and women if they’d ever broken up with someone over money. Around a quarter of respondents said they had, while around a fifth said someone had broken up with them over financial matters.
Clearly, financial factors can create friction in relationships—and that’s true whether or not someone breaks up over these issues. According to a poll conducted by the Association of International Certified Professional Accountants, almost 70% of Americans who were married or living with a partner said they’d fought about money with their significant other within the past 12 months.
With money a stressor in relationships, it’s not surprising that financial infidelity sometimes occurs. Find out more about financial infidelity and the role finances play in relationships below.
People often shy away from the importance of finances in a marriage or other relationship because they don’t want to seem materialistic or as if they’re putting money and things before their significant other. In reality, though, finances are critically important because they can provide stability—or take it away, as the case may be. Being honest with each other about finances and working together transparently for future financial goals builds trust and helps the entire marriage or relationship succeed.
Some things that might be important to financial fidelity in a relationship include:
Financial infidelity occurs when you lie about money matters to each other in a relationship where there’s an expectation that you won’t. Usually this is possible when a couple shares finances, but it’s also possible even if you keep your finances separate and are dishonest about things.
A few examples of financial infidelity include:
If you’re worried that financial infidelity is at play in your relationship, consider the following common signs:
Whether you should break up with someone or ask for a divorce based on financial infidelity is a personal choice, and one that probably should take into account many other factors. According to our survey, men are slightly more likely to initiate a breakup over financial issues, with almost 30% saying they had, compared to close to 23% of females.
Age also seems to play a role. Almost 30% of those aged 25 to 34 say they’ve broken up with someone over finances, and just over 30% of those aged 35 to 49 said the same. For people aged 50 to 64 and 18 to 24, the number drops to less than 15%, and for those over age 65, only around 6% said they had broken up with someone for these reasons.
Couples know they have to work on issues like communication and intimacy. But they often don’t realize they should put the same effort into working on finances together. Start today by being open and honest about money. Consider signing up for your free credit scores together at Credit.com, so you can see where you both stand.
This survey was conducted for Credit.com using Suzy. The sample consisted of a total of 1,019 responses per question and is not statistically representative of the general population. This survey was conducted in September 2022.
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